'TIS THE SEASON FOR FITNESS SALES IN THE GYM, OR MLM THE BULLSHIT NEVER FAILS.
It's the most wonderful time of the year...
Family, friends, food, mistletoe, big turkeys, pie, parties, lots of pie, food, cocktails, and, coming soon to your Facebook wall, a billboard of sellers reminding you that January first is your chance to start anew with your health and fitness goals.
It's overwhelming. We've been on the inside of this thing for a while now, so let us help clear the smoke.
Don't worry, we won't try to sell you anything until the end. That's where our big pitch is.
Keep your guard up.
First, we'll touch on the globo gyms. I spent last holiday season in one of those, and let me tell you the truth. No one is talking about changing lives. They're pissed. No one is thinking about fitness at the moment, so underpaid trainers are busy setting up booths selling gifts, all the while planning to be away on holidays to try to make a sale.
Another thing to consider. Gyms' business model is built on "contributors". What is that, you may ask?
Thanks for asking. A contributor is someone who pays the dues, but never shows. Hence the figurative act of congress it takes to cancel most gym memberships.
I recently cancelled a membership after discovering how to send certified mail online. I hadn't visited the gym in nearly three years. It was only $20, I said each month when I thought about the production of actually visiting a post office. That letter cost me $600 or so at the end.
Oh, it's actually worse than that, my lovely wife just reminded me. I continued to pay dues, even when I had a free employee membership. Just because it was hard to cancel.
That production was close to four figures. I could have had fancy food and treated the wife to Paul McCartney for that. FML.
On the other hand, if you're self motivated and just need access to equipment, your favorite toning classes, or Zumba, the time to save is coming soon. We know a few good ones in the area, and would be glad to point you in the right direction to avoid that used car dealer feeling most will give you.
Now, on to the MLM.
Don't ask your friend that sells what I'm about to describe, because they'll mess it all up and tell you it's not MLM. This is actually a red flag that it is, but that's another rant. If you would like to hear it, ask.
Say you've got a friend who maybe lost some weight. Suddenly, the tone of her posts change. She starts talking about breakfast more, letting the interwebs know she worked out, maybe even brags that her workout only took 25 minutes, the baby's napping, and she has "me" time. This post will generally be followed by a question to get you engaged. Like, "What's your favorite healthy breakfast?" , "Did you make time for yourself today?" or any of the other things that your other friend is saying, too. Everyone knows more than one.
Then, it evolves to talking about this amazing program that changed her life, and to ask for more info.
If you ask for more, you will learn that an MLM fitness product changed this person's life, and they want to pay it forward by being your coach.
That's really cute and sweet and gives us all butterflies, but here's the thing:
They ain't coaches.
They bought a product that may or may not have worked for them, and now they want to create a business of selling it.
They are not coaches, they are recruiters.
Does anyone call their Essential Oil Dealer an "Oil Coach"?
It's product, hombres. Not coaching.
What really irks me about these "coaches" is that online coaching is a completely underused segment of self improvement and wellness coaching.
You buy a DVD, then you get placed in a Facebook group with other people who, for the most part, look the same year after year...even some of their "goorooos".
You're not hiring a coach. You are hiring an assistant buyer and a cheerleader. Your DVD's will not be workouts based around your goals, and you will not be given a program that evolves with you with constant feedback from a coach who has invested time and money to learn on your behalf.
Unlike the gym, I can't really recommend this path for anyone. If you're in it for money, get a real job with bennies. At least then you can leave work at work instead of becoming another sales billboard on Facebook, and having to see every friend as a potential customer. If that sounds like fun, ugh. No soup for you!
However, if videos, shakes and accountability is your thing, let me offer an equally effective, free method that will work for you and leave enough in the bank for fancy dinners and Paul McCartney: Get some friends together. Form a group on Facebook. Go to Target. Pick out some videos. Workout 3-5x a week. Eat nutritious food. Since you're already at Target, I'll let you know a trade secret: They have a fancy organic line that's pretty cheap. Cheerlead each other on, and there you go. If you need guidance, spend a little bit of money to spend an hour with a coach who can draw out a roadmap for you. It shouldn't take more than an hour. If your friends all go in on it, you'll still be able to see Paul.
Which leads to the big moment. Our climactic holiday sales pitch.
Our rates are the same, and we won't spam you with constant sales pitches.
We don't want tire kickers, procrastinators or fad followers. We want people who are ready to be coached, today.
We are coaches and trainers, not convincers.
We offer services at most every price point, and we are fully invested in our clients, whether it's January 2nd or November 11th.
From online coaching to 3x/week personal training and full meal preparation, and everything in between, we are able to reach just about any budget.
We ain't no $10/month gym membership, BOGO Bootcamp, or MLM Sales Recruiter.
Our work is our passion, and we keep our client base small to be able to only work with people that we can truly make an impact with.
There are a few of us out there, and I'm glad you know us, because they're all good. That's why you'll never catch me hating on them. It's a level that isn't seen in the box gyms, and is often unappreciated by the majority. I suppose that's why we're the minority. Math.
We've got people training to get fast, get strong, lose fat, build muscle, gain confidence and feel good.
Everyone has their needs and their reasons. That's where we do work. And you do more work.
We have some open spots, so if this sounds good to you, we'd love to talk to you.
Don't worry, we will not try to "sell". We refer constantly.